Birthday Tears

Birthday month is here, and today is the big day! I’ve always been a birthday girl. I love my birthday and usually celebrate all month. This time last year, I was celebrating big time! I turned 50, and my husband threw me the most amazing party! The day was filled with so much laughter—I laughed until I cried while a mariachi band played in the background, and guests took their chances on the mechanical bull. What a celebration!

            Just six weeks later, however, different tears were shed as I was diagnosed with stage two invasive ductal carcinoma, HER2+ breast cancer. This morning, as I reflect on the rollercoaster of my life over the past year, tears flow once again. I am overwhelmed by so many feelings—thankfulness, joy, sadness, relief—quite the conglomeration of emotions.

            Science has revealed that our tears are uniquely distinct and composed of different compositions. We produce basal tears daily—these functional tears keep our eyes lubricated and protected as they are enriched with nutrients and antibacterial properties. Then, there are reflex tears, which are triggered by irritants like smoke, wind, or onions and work to flush out harmful substances.

            Beyond these, we shed emotional tears, which are produced from intense feelings such as sadness, joy, or frustration. Unlike the others, emotional tears contain higher levels of proteins and stress-related hormones that help regulate emotions and release tension. This is why many feel better after they cry. What’s even more fascinating is that different emotions produce distinct tears. Tears of sadness and tears of joy have different chemical compositions. How incredible is it that God, so deeply involved in our lives, recognizes and values each and every tear we shed?

            Today, the mix of my tears forms a unique composition known only to God. As I reflect on all that has happened over this past year, tears of sadness from the hard things I’ve faced begin to trickle down, but they soon blend with tears of thankfulness for all God has done for me. I have been so blessed with health and strength, and I continue to realize the miracle of healing in my body. Tears of relief then begin to flow as I look ahead to a brighter year while tears of gratefulness overwhelm me as I consider how loved I am. I have been encouraged and cheered on by so many, which has injected me with hope along the way. Oh, how good God has been to this girl!

            I’m truly overwhelmed by God's love today and His guiding hand in my life. He wonderfully and intricately formed me (Psalm 139:14) and gave me life 51 years ago today. He knows me so intimately, even to the point of identifying each tear that falls, and He loves me. God redeems our hardest moments, bottles our tears (Psalm 56:8), and I believe He pours them out as blessings on us. What we choose to see shapes our perspective, and today, through my mixture of birthday tears, I see His goodness all over my life! What will you see through your identifying tears?